Last time we left off, we had you aunties at Step One of helping your siblings choose the right guardians for their little ones: The List.  I want to move you onto Step Two:  Deciding What Matters Most.

It’s very important that you be informative and supportive of your siblings as they make these tough choices.  Encourage them to stand by their values and not be swayed by emotional obligation.  That’s what this list is for.

Step Two: Decide What Matters Most

Help your siblings sit down and decide which factors are most important.  Here are a few to consider:

maturity
age
stability
cultural heritage
marital status
presence of children already in the home
potential conflicts of interest
patience
stamina
parenting style
physical health
habits/values
disciplinary style
integrity
religion
location
free time

Make sure your siblings know that when considering their values, they need to be completely honest about what is important to them. Most often, parents say that their single most important consideration is that their children are raised by someone who loves them. However, they feel uncomfortable admitting that someone’s location might play a role, or that their parents’ age might make them less favorable candidates. Remind them that they are choosing a guardian who will raise their children in the same style as they would.

After your siblings have made a list of their values, rank the values in order of importance. Obviously, the perfect choice would score highly on every measure. But because we are all imperfect, they will likely have more success in choosing the few characteristics that are most important to them. Integrity is something you cannot change. But if having an at-home parent is important to them, their prospective guardian might be willing to come home to raise their child if it is made possible through a well-structured and funded plan.

Why does all this matter to you, the Savvy Auntie? Not only because you love your nieces and nephews.  Really, if something does happen to your sibling, this will impact you and your future relationship with your nieces and nephews!

Today we will end with Step Two, but stay tuned for Step Three: Matching People to Priorities.  Enjoy your holidays, Auntie!  Let’s make sure all of our nieces and nephews feel extra loved this time of year!